Throwback Thursday: The Cheese Lamp
I grew up in the house my grandfather built in the mid 1950’s. The decor ranged from mid century modern to 70’s funk. We had some interesting stuff, to say the least.
In my bedroom, which had a multi-colored animal-print shag rug (it had been the t.v. room before I came along), there hung a lamp. A hideous, orange, ceramic pendant lamp with various sized holes punched through it. My parents called it the cheese lamp.
I remember this lamp clearly because it scared me. At night, bathed in the glow of my Winnie-the-Pooh night light, this lamp was pure evil. The holes were like dark eyes watching me from across the room.
One night I dreamed that my parents were zombies, and my mom had this lamp stuck on her head, the heavy metal chain wrapping around her body.
Not long after that, the lamp came down. It lived in the utility room for a while, sitting up on a shelf between jars of nails and curls of sand paper. At some point it disappeared, hopefully to the dump, because otherwise it will haunt some other young child.
Seriously, who’s idea was it to make a lampshade out of ceramic? It must have been insanely heavy, not to mention opaque, so it would only let light shine out of the holes and the bottom. Dumb.
Another thing that I found creepy in that house were the light switches that lit up when turned off. At night, when the house was dark and I looked down the stairs into the living room, I could see these amber-lit switches glowing like the eyes of a menacing beast.
I suppose I can be thankful that the scariest things in my childhood were lamps and light switches, and that I had to imagine monsters, rather than actually face them.
Was there anything that scared you in your childhood home?