Hi from Racine!
Today it hit me. I may actually be afraid of being hungry. It’s long been a joke with people who know me that I always need to have a stash of food somewhere. At work, I have an entire drawer dedicated to snacks. If I am going anywhere, I pack snacks or I plan ahead and know when and where I will be able to eat again.
Today I packed for my quick trip. One outfit, pajamas, undies, my laptop and 2 packages of peanut butter crackers and 6 (yes, six) granola bars.
Of course I’m not actually going to eat 6 granola bars in a 24 hour period. But… WHAT IF I GET HUNGRY?
As I was pondering my fear of hunger today, I recalled how as a child I would ask my mother what was for dinner as soon as we were done having breakfast. To my astonishment, sometimes she hadn’t even thought of it! She’d say “I don’t know!” in an exasperated voice. Sometimes she’d add “have you ever missed a meal?”
Well, yes actually, I had. Every surgery involved a period of starvation the night before (ok, so it was after dinner – don’t nitpick) and often I’d miss a couple of meals after thanks to my aching mouth and propensity to puke post op.
But was that it? I don’t remember feeling hungry on those occasions.
Perhaps I starved to death in a past life?
Definitely something to ponder further. But now I must sleep!!