Yesterday I found out that one of my followers on Instagram is a devotee.
I knew this might happen when I went public with the blog and put a couple of videos on YouTube.
My first reaction to finding out that someone is looking at pictures of me solely because they think my deformed hands or feet are sexy was one of feeling physically ill. I felt like my privacy had been violated somehow.
After taking some time to mull it over, I began to wonder if it was really any worse than finding out someone was attracted to me because I had blonde hair or because they liked some other feature, such as my fine ass. (I kid.) Either way, it’s objectifying me down to whatever part it is they are turned on by.
Then I thought about celebrities and how all kinds of people are admiring them from afar and likely including them in sexual fantasies all hours of the day and night. So maybe if I have one or two guys scouring my blog or Instagram feeds trying to find pictures of my hands and feet (of which there really aren’t many), what harm is there really in it?
This person suggested that I could make money if I posted videos of myself doing stuff with my hands or feet. Not even sexual things, but just regular things. Somehow that is a huge turn on.
I’m kind of glad I found this out now, as I was considering making a video of myself playing the piano and sharing it here and on YouTube. Scratch that!
Maybe I am being too sensitive about it. If someone wants to diddle themselves while watching a completely nonsexual video that I posted online, why should I worry about it? It’s completely within my control whether I feed into it or not, and I choose not to.
To my friends with ectrodactyly, if someone asks you to send pics of your hands, I have a few choice photo responses you can use.
I’m curious to hear from others. Have you been contacted by a devotee? How did you react? Do you think it’s a harmless side effect of making your presence known online? Or are we boarding the train to creepy town when we interact with these people?
Are you a devotee? Why are you attracted to disability or deformity? I can understand being interested from a curiosity standpoint, but why is it sexual?