Calm on the surface, but paddling like mad underneath.
Hello! Just a quick update to let you know that I am still alive, although rather tired.
Earlier this week I took a quick trip to Chicago for work, but ended up stuck in the airport for nearly the whole day on Tuesday. I didn’t get home until 1am, and I’ve been feeling pretty sluggish ever since.
There are so many things I want to write about, and hopefully I will get into a better routine soon. I have this idea that I can wake up at 5 am, meditate, go for a run, write for an hour, have breakfast, shower and dress for work by 8am. Which, really, seems doable, right? I mean, it’s three whole hours at my disposal. There was a time that I used to get up and walk 3 miles and do a nice yoga sesh before breakfast. It was awesome. I can do it again, right?
I want to write about confidence, and how it comes and goes in waves. Sometimes I am taken back when I notice how nervous and uncertain I really am underneath my outwardly calm persona.
I want to write about how I just spent three days among strangers and not one of them seemed to notice that my hands were different. Or maybe I was just too oblivious to notice.
I want to write about being in an airport, surrounded by hundreds of people and making eye contact with some of them and wanting to know their stories, but not knowing how to begin. And in the odd moments of actual conversation, how I suddenly became nervous and wanted them to go away because I couldn’t hear them very well.
Or how, going out to dinner with colleagues in a very crowded and noisy restaurant was so frustrating because I could not hear the person on my left at all. Fortunately, he wasn’t talking much. Would having a hearing aid have helped this situation, or would it have just made everything else louder? Do I really want to go back to the hearing specialist and risk getting a glob of silicone stuck in my ear again?
So there’s some topics to pick up on next time I have a moment.
For now I shall catch up on sleep.