What’s something you miss from the old days?
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It’s funny that this prompt should come up for me today. I often reminisce on “the old days”, which for me could be anytime between 1980-2010. But mostly my nostalgic thoughts come to rest in the 90’s, before the internet took over so much of my life.
As I was out walking yesterday, I was reflecting on friendship, and thinking about how you used to be able to make friends with whoever was around. Your parent’s friend’s kids, or your neighbors, or kids you went to school with. I was realizing that since the internet came along- and social media especially- we were introduced this concept of being able to find and connect with people all over the world who had shared interests, or who were similar to you in some way. Also, you could have like, 400 friends (or way more) at one time. And if you wanted to tell your “friends” something, you’d just make a post, or share a picture and see who liked or commented. It gave a false sense of being connected to all these people, and maybe also warped our sense of importance.
When I was blogging more, and sharing my posts on Facebook, I was never sure if the people who threw me a thumbs up or a heart had really read what I wrote and “got” it, or if they were just being supportive because they liked me and wanted to be encouraging. I know there were times that people I liked would post something lengthy and I would just give it a skim and a thumbs up and move on, as one does on social media.
On my walk yesterday I was thinking about how my friend Zach and I used to mail drawings to each other. This was in the early 90’s – so we did not have email, or smartphones or any way of sending things other than by mail or hand-delivery.
Zach and I loved to draw. We were especially enamored with the 1992 Summer Olympics, and would send each other drawings of Shannon Miller on the balance beam, or Kerri Strug on the vault. We drew pictures of our dream houses (enormous mansions with spiral shrubberies between the windows), and sometimes we’d draw silly pictures of things we’d done or told each other about. I’m still proud of the drawing I made of his mom asking a turbaned gas station attendant to explain why he wore a turban, while Zach died of embarrassment in the backseat of their car.
What hit me as I thought about those days was that we were literally only doing it out of the joy of our own hearts, and to amuse each other. There was no wider audience. Sure, we’d show the drawings to our families, and hang them on our bedroom walls, but there was no concept of creating “content” for the masses.
For a while now, I’ve been thinking that the key to happiness is spending way less time online. Of course that is easier said than done, but I like to think back to my childhood and teen years when I was blissfully free from technology (other than my walkman), and how much lighter things felt. I created art because I wanted to. I wrote because it felt good. I did it all without thinking about an audience or a reaction from others.
So many times I have started writing posts for this blog and then stopped when I thought about who might read it, or whether it was good enough to share. It’s so easy to compare yourself with everyone else when you have access to what everyone else is doing. Sure, sometimes other people’s work inspires or sparks an idea, but if you have an ounce of self-doubt, that kind of exposure can be crippling too.
Anyway – I guess what I miss from the old days was smaller, more intimate friend groups, and friendships that existed in person. I am grateful that I have been building in-person relationships since I’ve moved here, but it’s definitely more challenging than it was as a kid in the 80’s and 90’s.
