Cut Off My Nose and Call Me an Alien

I started writing this post a few months ago but stopped because I was finding myself getting rather worked up about the topic. I didn’t want to post something that came across too judgmental. Now that I’ve had some time to mull it over some more, I think I’m ready to share:

I’ve been thinking about body modification and if there comes a point where it goes too far. There’s a guy who calls himself The Black Alien who has done some extreme body modification that goes way beyond tattooing or piercing. He’s removed his nose and ears and part of his upper lip so that it almost looks like he has a cleft lip. He has had two of his fingers removed and looks forward to having a leg amputated on some future occasion. Those are the most unnerving mods – he’s also had his tongue split, has a hole in his lower lip through which sticks his forked tongue or other objects, and countless subdermal implants to give his head and arms an interesting collection of lumps and bumps. Oh, and scarification and tattooed eyeballs. Basically, you name it, he’s done it. 

I found a clip from a documentary about him on YouTube. In it, you can see that he seems to be a rather nice guy and quite down to earth, making it even more bewildering that he would do things like this to himself. His “before” photos show a handsome, healthy young man. In the documentary, he says that while he appeared happy on the surface, he felt like he wasn’t in the right body. 

I can understand the feeling of being in the wrong body, in particular when it comes to gender dysphoria, and wanting to alter your body to become more masculine or feminine, in order to present the way you feel. So, you could probably argue that this is the same thing, just that this guy’s idea of the right body happens to look non-human.

I don’t know. As someone who was born with missing digits and a face that needed reconstructive surgery in order to function in society, it’s really hard to imagine going, “wow, my face would really look better if I just cut some chunks off of it” or “My hands would really function better if I cut off a few fingers.”

Years ago I saw some documentary about people who were obsessed with becoming disabled. I don’t remember all the details but the main thing was that they each desperately wanted to have a limb amputated. They had a condition called BIID, or Body Integrity Identity Disorder. In a nutshell, it’s a mental disorder where people long to have a sensory or physical disability.

I feel like there’s some correlation between the black alien and these amputee-wannabees. As far as I can tell, he hasn’t stated that he wants to be disabled, but rather that he will be able to have robotic legs that will be superior to his own human legs. Ok, buddy.

I’ve written before that I’d never considered myself to be disabled. In recent times, after seeing others with EEC describe themselves as disabled due to the limitations of heat intolerance or other issues, I have come to realize that I am disabled to some degree. While I generally do not need special accommodations, I tend to avoid situations where I will be exposed to heat or sun for a long time. I’ve always avoided most sports or anything that requires great hand/eye coordination because I do not have that and tend to end up hurting myself or getting hit in the face with flying objects because I don’t see or hear them coming in time to react. 

All that’s to say that I find myself relating more and more to disabled folks, and I find myself noticing how inaccessible some places can be for wheelchair users or people who might need to sit down occasionally to rest or have easy access to a bathroom. Not to mention the discrimination disabled people face. 

So, it is difficult for me to understand how an able-bodied person would wish to maim themselves and make their life harder. Or someone with a naturally good-looking face would willingly cut off their nose or lips or tattoo their eyeballs and risk losing vision just so they could look like an alien. It makes no sense that a person who is fortunate enough to have a ‘normal,’ fully functioning body would wish to be disabled or disfigured.

I want to keep an open mind, as I truly believe in “My body, my choice” and that no one should be able to police what others do to their bodies. But what about when their actions impact society? What if when they become disabled, they end up taking away resources from involuntarily disabled folks? It grinds my gears to think that someone could be like *remove limbs*, and then suddenly need to have round-the-clock care to get by. I mean, unless they are freakishly rich and can pay for that themselves – then be my guest. Chop chop!

So, anyway, that’s something that’s been on my mind lately. Perhaps I should be flattered that this young man finds three-fingered hands and cleft lips so attractive that he is willing to modify his own body to share the look. But somehow, I don’t think that was his motivation.