Pre-Birthday Thoughts

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday.

Thirty-six. Damn. I don’t feel 36, although is it an age anyone really feels? What does any age feel like?

The other day a younger co-worker asked me how old I was going to be on my birthday. When I said 36, her face grew somber. “Wow, that is so old!” Luckily she followed up with, “You don’t look that old!”

img_7205

*Snapchat filter = not what I actually look like

Ah yes. In my younger days I would have said 36 was middle aged. When my mom was 36, she had four kids, the oldest of whom (me!) was 15. I don’t even know where I’d be if I had a 15-year-old child in my life right now. I guess it’d be a lot different.

In some ways I feel like I should be more grown up by now. I still feel like a kid (or at least a 20-something) most days. I don’t even feel like my body is all that womanly. When I travel for work, I don’t even wear business clothes on the plane (unless I have to), and people assume I’m a college kid. I don’t really mind this… it kind of lets me fly under the radar.

In all honesty, I feel like I’ve fallen into a bit of a rut lately. Maybe I’m just used to switching it up every couple of years, and here I am going on year five of working at the same company. I’ve let slip some of my ambitions, and being reminded of my age is a swift kick in the pants. Oh yeah, I wanted to be an artist. What the hell am I waiting for?

The good news about my job is that recently we’ve started using WordPress to host some of our content. So I’ve been learning how to build a website. I’m really excited about that, because basically since I started this blog I have had the idea that I would upgrade to a paid account and put my art on here and have a little storefront to sell some of my art and tchotchkes. Now that I’ve finished my competent communicator manual, I can devote more time to this page.

Woo hoo!

Well, that’s enough for now. I gotta rest up, now that I’m getting on in years.

3 thoughts on “Pre-Birthday Thoughts

  1. Dotty says:

    Oh great…..you feel old at 36? And I’m 62! Old is definitely how you can act, but I have chosen to act young! maybe not 20s young, more like mid-40s young. The best part of aging is that you can be who YOU want to be. I no longer care (as much) what others think of me. I do what I like within reason. I took up golf 5 years ago and am doing well with that … Scoring in the 90s regularly. I have never been arty but admire those who are. I volunteer at hospice and I recently took on a consulting gig. I feel freer and more in control of who I am than ever before! Take courage and be who you are no matter your age!!!! love your posts as always.

    Liked by 1 person

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