Last week I received an email from a TV production company in the UK. They wanted to know if I’d be interested in talking to them about a documentary they were working on. They thought I would be a good candidate, based on some of my blog content.
I figured it had something to do with ectrodactyly, as my blog stats page was showing lots of hits on my Lobster Girl and Exploring Ectrodactyly posts.
Now, I’m a pretty skeptical person, so before I envisioned myself starring in a tell-all documentary about my life with EEC, I knew I needed to do some research. I wrote back and said I might be interested, but obviously wanted more information. I Googled the production company to see what kind of shows they’ve done.
It turned out that the show in question was called “Too Ugly for Love?”
I wasn’t terribly surprised at this revelation, though I will admit to being a little hurt. Too ugly for love? Is that a thing?
After doing some research it appears that the show’s focus is on people who have some sort of disability or disfigurement and are having trouble finding a romantic partner. From the clips I have seen online, and the articles, it is not as horrible as it’s title. However, it’s not exactly an empowering take on dating with disabilities, either. It seems to insinuate that if you have anything different about yourself – if you are somehow “ugly”- that no one would want to date you.
Aside from some awkward years between the ages of 11 and 16, I did not find this to be the case for myself. I believe that personality far outweighs physical beauty. I’m sure there are guys out there who would not want to date me because of my scars or my missing digits, but those aren’t people I’d want to spend my time with anyway. There are plenty of people who are capable of looking past whatever external flaws you have and seeing your true beauty and value. Regardless of what your face or body looks like, if you have an ugly personality, you’re not going to have much luck in love.
I wasn’t the only one who was contacted about this show. Jen Campbell was too, and she was pretty pissed. You can see her YouTube response here. She brings up a lot of valid points about representation. She’s really passionate about this.
What do you think? Is it just another silly reality show with a bad name? Would you go on it if asked?
Uncommon Heather 
Oh. My. God.
When I first read this I had no words. I took a deep breath and now I have too many.
Suffice to say I am appalled. I fear to melt down into a rant.
I’m getting that gut level, “Don’t mess with MY People” feeling I get when disabilities are badly represented.
Gah.
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That is so ridiculous. Due to my maloclussion I have been called ugly most of my life. Due to everything else wrong with me I have been told that no one ever wants to date a sick girl and I’d never get married.
There is so much ignorance regarding chronic illness and disability including the idea that our differences are negative and are all there is to us.
I am terribly sorry that you had to go through this as I’m sure it was hurtful, but from following you you seem to come off quite confident, as you should, because you’re truly lovely. And the rest who think otherwise can feel free to go fuck themselves ^_^
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